The Best Advice

Original Version

Recorded in Bountiful around 2010 for the Elementary Penguins album. For a few tracks on that album I was exploring ideas around found lyrics and searched Twitter for tweats about advice or the best advice. These are all phrases from the twitterverse.

There a couple musical contributors from Tapegerm on this track. I’m plucking an electric guitar and playing the synthesizer lines that puncuate throughout the song. My vocals are being pushed through The Mouth processor from Native Instruments. 

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1. Focus on 1 thing at time
2. Do what you do best
3. When in doubt, “think about the biography”
4. The people closes to you knows you best
5. You’ll never know unless you take the risk and try
6. Marry a skinny truck driver
7. Stay true, stay you smile and NEVER SAY NEVER
8. Just be yourself
9. Do your homework and find out who is going to be the one to split you
10. OldRepublicanMen know what’s best for me and my uterus
11. Best advice I ever got. and it came from a stripper
12. I think we all know that ur cats give terrible advice
13. The best advice is best practiced then taught
14. Follow the Fear
15. Follow your heart
16. Each day’s a gift and not a given right
17. Never give a crap about Anything. Just live, forgive and forget
18. Life is too ef’n short!let’s make d best use of it pls!”
19. Yu Ugly. Best Advice Is To Stay In Da Cut
20. You should probably just date a guy who doesn’t like hardcore
21. Just walk away
22. Don’t dress like a slut
23. Wear a raincoat
24. If it’s got tires or a penis your gonna have trouble with it!!
25. Declutter
26. Never sit down & try to work out your hourly rate
27. Silence is the best answer for all questions
28. Smiling is the best reaction in all situations
29. Make ‘em laugh, make ‘em laugh, make ‘em laugh
30. The worst men often give the best advice
31. Turn it twice during second half
32. Enjoy it while it lasts, it’s not going to happen that often
33. At this stage there’s no such thing as usually

VOL. 2 (JUNE 2020)

1. Stop playing Jumanji for christ sake.
2. Fake a coma until February
3. Say goodbye to the people you love
4. Control, Alt, Delete.
5. Go home. You’re drunk.
6. Life’s not expensive, lifestyle is.
7. Return your 2020 Day Planner
8. Usually, the people with the best advice are the ones with the most problems.
9. Do the exact opposite of the advice people give you.